The Spread of Simitis– You Might Want to Get Vaccinated!

Many people play the game, The Sims. It was recently found that playing this game too much can result in the unpleasant disease, Simitis. Below I will list some symptoms of this disease so you can be sure you don’t catch it.

  • If you find yourself carrying dishes to the sink or dishwasher, but decide to take a detour and feel the need to put the dishes down first, you might have Simitis.
  • If you find yourself unable to walk somewhere because of an object on the floor, (And you just CAN’T step over it), you probably have Simitis.
  • If you can’t get to where you are going, and feel the need to scream at the place, you might be catching Simitis.
  • If you go into labor and and think “Hm, I’ll take my bike to the hospital”, you might want to get checked for Simitis while you’re there.
  • If you give birth by spinning in a circle and sparkling, you probably passed your Simitis to your baby.
  • If you have twins and they have different zodiac signs, you all have Simitis.
  • If you wave your hands around and scream at the sky when you are hungry, you might be coming down with Simitis.
  • If you are exhausted to the point that you collapse and fall asleep on the floor next to your bed, you should get checked for Simitis.
  • If your idea of repairing the TV is by hammering it with a wrench, you may have Simitis.
  • If your pizza delivery guy gets a pizza to your house in 30 seconds but gets lost in your back yard for 3 hours, he probably has Simitis.
  • If you feel the need to stand next to the toilet and wave and scream at the ceiling, while your bladder is about to bust, you are probably getting Simitis.
  • If you have no problem cooking steak, stuffed turkey, and lobster, but still burn your grilled cheese, you might want to get checked for Simitis.
  • If you are late for work because it took you an hour to eat your bowl of cereal in the morning, you probably have Simitis.
  • If your dishwasher is loud and you think it will be helpful to scream at it while it washes dished for you, get checked for Simitis.
  • If you can water your wilting apple tree for 45 minutes and it comes back to life, I bet you and the tree have Simitis.
  • If your stove catches on fire and you would rather stand three feet away from it and yell, then stand in the way of the fireman and get everyone killed, chances are both you and the fireman have Simitis.

If you experience the last symptom I listed, you are probably dead, I’m sorry I couldn’t get this information to you sooner.

This disease was recently discovered but it is believed to have taken the lives of many, and caused many to live extremely annoying lifestyles. If you or someone you know has experienced any of these symptoms, SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY.


Have a nice day!



One thought on “The Spread of Simitis– You Might Want to Get Vaccinated!

  1. Mercedes says:

    Haha, this was too accurate!

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