What is this nonsense? Who says Santa isn’t real? Are you really going to try to convince me that a fat man doesn’t squeeze down my chimney and leave me presents? Okay. Well explain this. Who eats all of those cookies? Yea. Exactly. You don’t have an answer. Because it’s Santa. Oh. My parents eat them all? Yea right. My parents couldn’t possibly eat all of those cookies. They’d get sick.
Next you’re going to tell me that unicorns and mermaids aren’t real either. Please. I’m in college. I think I can tell whats real and what isn’t.