We’ve all known a shy person that seems like the perfect friend for you. Or maybe you just wanted to talk to them because they look lonely. But in either situation, did you know how to talk to them without scaring them off, or making them uncomfortable?
Here are some tips on talking to shy people:
First of all, you have to be dedicated to talking to them. If you start a conversation, then walk away, the shy person will think you are uninterested or bored with them. That’s bad.
Second, you need to have good intentions. If you want to talk to them to make fun of them, they will know and most likely take a negative attitude. If you are talking to them out of pity, they don’t want any. If you want to actually get to know them and maybe became friends, go for it!
The next step is approaching them. It needs to be an appropriate time and place. If they are doing something, it’s not a good time. Also, don’t approach them in a large group. This makes them feel on display. Don’t invite them to sit with a big group, either. They will decline. They might be a little surprised that you are talking to them, and be suspicious of your intentions.
Now, we will greet the shy person. Just say Hi and smile. Don’t ask a question right away. Let them get used to you talking to them. Don;t talk down to them. Just because they don’t talk doesn’t mean they are a baby that doesn’t know how. Don’t treat them that way.
Now that you are talking, you need to hold the conversation. Remember, they are shy. You should do most of the talking. They would probably prefer to listen anyway.
Ask them yes or no questions, or questions with short answers. Don’t ask them what they did last weekend. They will probably say they did nothing because its an easy out. Instead, ask if they have pets. If they say yes, ask what kind, or how many. Don’t ask to many questions at once though. They may feel like you’re interviewing them.
Congratulations. You have talked to a shy person! Now, if they approach you, you have made friends. But, they probably wont. You may have to approach them again. But make sure you aren’t harassing them. Give them their space. If you run up to them to talk to them every time you see them, well, they might think you’re stalking them. But don’t ignore them when more talkative people are around. That may make them feel like they are second best, or that you use them as someone to talk to when your friends aren’t around. Just find a happy medium.
Remember that shy people are usually pretty introverted. They like to keep to themselves. Don’t try to include them in your biggest group of friends. They will probably be uncomfortable. Just keep that in mind.
Enjoy your new friend!